In my latest National Post column I say that press releases that declare themselves important reveal themselves as self-important.
“I can’t say enough good things about this person”.
From the “he’s an extraordinary man” file, in this case specifically for a letter of recommendation for someone you’re trying to unload on some other hapless employer. I don’t recall the source but I didn’t invent it.
“I thought I was going to seize the day… but the day seized me instead.”
Jon looking very miserable in Garfield in Ottawa Citizen Nov. 12, 2004
“Three consecutive years in a row”
Commentator on TSN during the World Junior Gold Medal hockey game between Canada and Sweden Jan. 4, 1993
“The wheels have fallen apart with their momentum”
Announcer on a Minnesota North Stars game on TSN, March 3, 1992
“When fortune empties her chamberpot on your head, smile – and say ‘we are going to have a summer shower.’”
Sir John A. Macdonald, quoted by Dave Ryan in The Western Standard May 3, 2004
“I shall waste no time reading your book.”
I do not recall the source of this marvellous veiled insult but alas I did not invent it.
“I highly recommend the white wine… because it won’t stain as bad if I spill it on you…”
“Your resume says you have experience serving wine.”
“Did I mention it was a bad experience?”
Two characters in "Tina’s Groove" comic strip in Ottawa Citizen January 14, 2004