“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”
W.C. Fields, quoted in the features on a DVD of six classic W.C. Fields shorts I acquired years ago
“I am quite sure your Majesty played as successfully as usual.”
A character in The Man in the Iron Mask (the 1977 movie)
“Drive slowly and enjoy the scenery – drive fast and join the scenery.”
Douglas Horton, quoted on https://www.hound-dog-media.com/2014/01/gamblers-fools-and-egotists-59-still_31.html
“The inner courtyard boasted a fountain, a stretch of lawn and some comparatively unobjectionable early baroque cloisters.”
Hans Hellmut Kirst The Night of the Generals [and credit translator J. Maxwell Brownjohn for rendering that "damning with faint praise" insult so well]
"He's human all right. He's got to be. No other critter on earth would make such a fool of himself."
Bull Harris (about Sherrif J.P. Harrah) in El Dorado
“Our coffee is every bit as fresh and delicious as anything else we sell.”
An ad I saw years ago that could be taken two very different ways.
“An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.”
Anonymous, quoted as ”Thought du jour” in Globe & Mail March 28, 2000
“’Oh, yeah, when I retire from this job I plan on passing the torch, all right. Flaming end first.’”
A harried, sweating office worker in the cartoon Real Life Adventures in Ottawa Sun August 11, 2004