“They should take the fans who threw things on the ice and throw them right out of the building. Without opening the door.”

Announcer on Toronto Maple Leafs’ playoff game April 18, 1996

“tennis purists still regard the western grip as having the same relationship to good tennis as leprosy has to good health.”

Burling Lowrey in Verbatim Vol. XX # 4

“Hurry! I never hurry. I have no time to hurry.”

“Igor Stravinsky, responding to his publisher’s request that he hurry his completion of a composition” quoted as “Thought du jour” in “Social Studies” in Globe & Mail August 6, 2004

“Thanks a lot, gentlemen, and don’t let the doorknob hit you in the butt.”

Tom Wolfe The Right Stuff (I don't claim he invented this wonderful expression but it's where I first encountered it)

“Watching [Nick] Faldo and [Curtis] Strange is like watching two glaciers at work.”

TV announcer re the Ryder Cup on Sunday July 24, 1995, 17th hole

“’Your chief trouble,’ he [a mid-rank gangster to the narrator, Archie Goodwin] said, not offensively, ‘is that you think you’ve got a sense of humor. It confuses people, and you ought to get over it. Things strike you as funny.... but someday something that you think is funny will blow your g****m head right off your shoulders.’ Only after he had gone did it occur to me that that wouldn’t prove it wasn’t funny.”

Rex Stout In the Best Families

“One can always tell when one is getting old and serious by the way that holidays seem to interfere with one’s work.”

“Bob Edwards in the Calgary Eye Opener, 1913” quoted as “Thought du jour” in Globe & Mail August 5, 2002

“They were like cockroaches. It wasn’t what they ate or carried off, it was what they fell into and ruined.”

Bob Uecker and Mickey Herskowitz Catcher in the Wry (re losing to the hapless New York Mets in 1964)