"That’s the key to comedy; allowing yourself to look stupid." Megan Mullally in Ladies’ Home Journal
"I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out." Arthur Hays Sulzberger
"poor as Job’s turkey" A writer whose name I failed to record in Chronicles magazine May 1994
In my latest National Post column I satirize people's ongoing faith in government's compassionate efficiency despite all their experience with its actual performance.
"The quarterback threw the football like a greasy pork chop past a hungry wolf." An unnamed football announcer quoted by my father December 30, 1994
"Run like you stole something." PGA pro Dicky Pride to his golf ball after a drive, July 30, 1994
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it." E. B. White (quoted on brainyquote.com)
"Nothing has been worse than the modern notion that a clever man can make a joke without taking part in it; without sharing in the general absurdity that such a situation creates. It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one’s soul." G.K. Chesterton, "The Flat Freak," in Alarms and Discursions, quoted in Gilbert! Vol. 4 #7