"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.”

Paul Fix

"Spoon me with a gag"

OK, I did say this, on reading a January 2007 news story about a woman in Sydney, Australia who laughed so hard while eating spaghetti that she swallowed a teaspoon (she was OK after medical intervention)

"You couldn’t get me there with a box of candy or a ton of dynamite."

Then-premier of Saskatchewan Roy Romanow on running for federal office, quoted in Maclean’s June 12, 1995

"He fell so hard for her, he even lost his balance at the bank."

Kirk Kirkpatrick, quoted in The Write File Quarterly Issue #5, Summer 1995

"Frankly, we don't know whether to run, to watch, or to bark at the moon."

Dan Rather, quoted in "Rather’s Familiar Quotations” in The Atlantic Monthly March 2005

“Pope [a minor-league thug]: 'My superior wants to see you.' Jonathan Hemlock [played by Clint Eastwood]: 'Well, that doesn't limit the field much!'”

The Eiger Sanction, quoted on The Internet Movie Database (imdb.com)

"'How did you go bankrupt?' Bill asked. 'Two ways,' Mike said. 'Gradually and then suddenly.'"

Ernest Hemingway The Sun Also Rises (frequently misquoted or misattributed including to Mark Twain or F. Scott Fitzgerald according to www.sovereignman.com/offshore/slowly-at-first-then-all-at-once-12909, which warned that it applies to nations too)
 

“Goodness me! Humans don't go to heaven! No, someone made that up to prevent you all from going nuts!”

Kryten the robot butler in the Red Dwarf episode "Last Day" (as a side note, Kryten firmly believes in a "silicon heaven" for everything from robots to calculators to toasters)