"Why are expensive cars kept in the drive way and useless junk kept inside the garage?"
One of "Gilbert’s Top Ten Unanswered Questions", in Gilbert! magazine Vol. 4 #7
"When Danish dramatist and poet Baron Ludwig Holbert (1684-1754) was asked by a scoffer 'Do you call that thing on your head a hat?' he replied: 'Do you call that thing under your hat a head?'"
"Thought du jour" in "Social Studies" in Globe and Mail November 17, 2003 p. A14.
"Just because I have a short attention span doesn’t mean I"
"Top 20 Internet Tag Lines" in Gilbert! Magazine Vol. 4 #8 (July/August 2001)
"Dijon vu – the same mustard as before."
"Found on the Internet" in Gilbert! magazine Vol. 4 # 4 (Jan./Feb. 2001)
"Your sheep’s clothing is slipping."
Eric Ambler, The Intercom Conspiracy, quoted as one of the "Top Ten Detective Fiction Wise Cracks" compiled by "Gramps" in Gilbert! magazine Vol. 2 #6 Issue 15 (April/May 1999)
"Hagar: 'Never judge another man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes!' Lucky Eddie: 'But before you do, make sure he doesn’t have athlete’s foot!'"
Hagar the Horrible in Ottawa Citizen March 23, 2004
"A penny saved is a little piece of copper that stays in your pocket for 10 hours."
From a list of maxims in Globe and Mail Nov. 29, 2001 sent by Nicola Gilman’s Grade 3 class at Calgary Montessori School
"On the other hand, you have different fingers."
E-mailed by Lorne Gunter; I do not know if it is original with him