“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.”

James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion (this quotation, verbatim or slightly modified, has been misattributed to others including Robert Oppenheimer)

“I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.”

Franklin Roosevelt, quoted as “Thought du jour” in “Social Studies” in Globe & Mail October 3, 2008

“‘The optimist goes to the window and says, “Good morning, God.” The pessimist goes to the window and says, “Good God, morning.”‘

“T.J. Park, Oshawa, Ont.” quoted in “Smile” in Globe & Mail September 5, 2001

“Sour grapes make bitter wine.”

Letter from Nancy Sturdevant of Ottawa in Ottawa Citizen July 3, 2004

“A pessimist is one who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.”

Elbert Hubbard, quoted in “Social Studies” in Globe & Mail Sept. 13, 2004

Suzanne: “Rob, don’t talk to me when I’m at my wits’ end."
Rob (to Tina): "… Is Suzanne ever at her wits’ beginning?”
Tina: “It’s a very narrow window of opportunity…"

“Tina’s Groove” comic strip in Ottawa Citizen March 9, 2004

“She could sing like a Florence nightingale.”

Samuel Goldwyn, according to Gilbert! magazine Vol. 6 #2 (Oct.-Nov. 2002) [I can’t find any independent confirmation that he ever said it but if not he missed an opportunity… to crib from Peter Pan creator James M. Barrie, who said: “I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not, it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life.” (See https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/james_m_barrie_131580)]

In the National Post I describe the new experience of trying to bowl after watching an instructional video, which turned out to be sort of like golf in its comic disaster.