“He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.”

#3 in “Gilbert!’s Top 10 More Bad Puns” in Gilbert! Magazine Vol. 6 #7 (June 2003)

“Quit while you’re behind.”

Another of mine, from August 6, 2004, inspired by entering the quotation that was published on August 1 2023.

“Count me out. I’d rather die. Why, those vampires would suck me dry. They’d scrape the tan right off my face.”

Pheidippides resisting his father Strepsiades’ advice to study at Sokrates’ Thinkery so he can learn to cheat Strepsiades’ creditors, in Aristophanes The Clouds (translation by William Arrowsmith)

“’My 401(k) is now a 201(k), heading for a 101(k).’”

Thomas L. Friedman calling it “the dominant mood” of Americans, who wanted Bush to forget Iraq and fix the economy, in New York Times February 5, 2003

“Look Ma! No hands!”

The title of an autobiography by Allan Piper, Canada’s first double amputee of World War II, who lost both hands while training recruits to throw grenades in July 1942, cited by Dave Brown in Ottawa Citizen August 27, 1999

“Reform’s UA initiative currently possesses all the momentum of a fat guy sitting shirtless in a lawn chair.”

Scott Feschuk in National Post May 27, 1999 [so it turned out not to be true, but it’s still a great metaphor].

“The Tories are a hollow shell, but at least they have a shell.”

Editorial in National Post June 7, 2001 that arguably overestimated their condition

“One year I got a very classy embossed ‘Best wishes of the season’ card from the South African High Commission in Ottawa, with a grubby ink stamped signature.”

It was about 20 years ago. I threw it out.