“Sour grapes make bitter wine.”

Letter from Nancy Sturdevant of Ottawa in Ottawa Citizen July 3, 2004

“A pessimist is one who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.”

Elbert Hubbard, quoted in “Social Studies” in Globe & Mail Sept. 13, 2004

Suzanne: “Rob, don’t talk to me when I’m at my wits’ end."
Rob (to Tina): "… Is Suzanne ever at her wits’ beginning?”
Tina: “It’s a very narrow window of opportunity…"

“Tina’s Groove” comic strip in Ottawa Citizen March 9, 2004

“She could sing like a Florence nightingale.”

Samuel Goldwyn, according to Gilbert! magazine Vol. 6 #2 (Oct.-Nov. 2002) [I can’t find any independent confirmation that he ever said it but if not he missed an opportunity… to crib from Peter Pan creator James M. Barrie, who said: “I know not, sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not, it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life.” (See https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/james_m_barrie_131580)]

In the National Post I describe the new experience of trying to bowl after watching an instructional video, which turned out to be sort of like golf in its comic disaster.

“It ain’t what a man don’t know as makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain’t so.”

The “homely wisdom of Josh Billings (1818-1885)” quoted in Daniel Boorstin Cleopatra’s Nose

“If at first you don’t succeed, hide the evidence.”

My sister

“that was like trying to teach a goldfish how to play basketball over the phone.”

Somebody posting as “TouchOGray” June 25 2008 (in an online thread about whether it’s OK to leave a bicycle in an unheated shed for the winter)