"I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out." Arthur Hays Sulzberger
"poor as Job’s turkey" A writer whose name I failed to record in Chronicles magazine May 1994
In my latest National Post column I satirize people's ongoing faith in government's compassionate efficiency despite all their experience with its actual performance.
"The quarterback threw the football like a greasy pork chop past a hungry wolf." An unnamed football announcer quoted by my father December 30, 1994
"Run like you stole something." PGA pro Dicky Pride to his golf ball after a drive, July 30, 1994
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it." E. B. White (quoted on brainyquote.com)
"Nothing has been worse than the modern notion that a clever man can make a joke without taking part in it; without sharing in the general absurdity that such a situation creates. It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one’s soul." G.K. Chesterton, "The Flat Freak," in Alarms and Discursions, quoted in Gilbert! Vol. 4 #7
In my latest National Post column I condemn the whole concept of food trends and "cutting-edge flavours" in favour of the retrograde notion of liking things that taste good.