“What’s the point of being a hedonist if you’re not having a good time?”

Lily Tomlin’s "The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe" show, quoted in The New Republic Oct. 7, 1991

“the fastest execution since someone said, ‘This Guy Fawkes bloke, do we let him off, or what?’”

Edmund Blackadder in Black Adder Goes Forth, quoted in blackadderquotes.com/blackadder-series-4-episode-3-major-star-full-script

“A ceñoso is something too low to kick and too wet to step on.”

A character on the TV show Hunter March 21, 1991.

“Now there’s a guy who lost the human race.”

My own thought April 2 2004 on abject failure (not any specific instance of it, just the general concept)

Someone’s eagle “really took the wind out of [another player’s] hands.”

Announcer on TBS Jan. 16, 1994, reminiscing about the Hawaiian Open 10 years earlier

“Not his finest moment… at least I hope not.”

A friend regarding someone's hapless performance some years ago

“Misfortune is a point of view. Your headache may feel good to an aspirin salesman.”

Tony Robbins Unlimited Power

“He consistently achieves the standards he sets for himself.”

Another double-meaning letter-of-recommendation line floating around on the Internet - I don't know the origin.