“The best way out is always through.”

Robert Frost, widely cited online (and in fact it turns out to be from the rather bleak poem "A Servant to Servants" https://www.poetryverse.com/robert-frost-poems/a-servant-to-servants)

“Man is born ridiculous, as can easily be seen if you look at him soon after he is born.”

G.K. Chesterton, “Shaw, The Philosopher,” in Alberto Manguel, ed., On Lying in Bed and Other Essays by G.K. Chesterton

“The [tsetse] fly’s devastating effects are similar to those of other known sleeping-sickness carriers, such as the tsetse professor, tsetse boss, and tsetse New York Times op-ed page writer.”

P.J. O’Rourke Eat the Rich

“Penny candy rotted your teeth just as fast when it didn’t cost a quarter.”

Bob Uecker and Mickey Herskowitz. Catcher in the Wry.

“I have no Will at all – and no Won’t – simply Can’t.”

Harold Skimpole in Charles Dickens Bleak House

“suddenly, sex is something we chat about at Starbucks, while God is something we read about by flashlight under the covers.”

Dahlia Lithwick in Ottawa Citizen October 24, 1999

“Salt: An Epicure’s Delight”, “Classic Wines of Estonia”, “Flemish Weaving the Traditional Way”.

The in-flight magazine articles the characters use to sedate themselves in Red Dwarf “Dimension Jump” (the Ace Rimmer episode).

“the only serious reason which I can imagine inducing any one person to listen to any other is, that the first person looks to the second person with an ardent faith and a fixed attention, expecting him to say what he does not expect him to say…. clearly it is quite true that whenever we go to hear a prophet or teacher we may or may not expect wit, we may or may not expect eloquence, but we do expect what we do not expect. We may not expect the true, we may not even expect the wise, but we do expect the unexpected. If we do not expect the unexpected, why do we go there at all? If we expect the expected, why do we not sit at home and expect it by ourselves?”

G.K. Chesterton Heretics