"The commander of the local French naval district… answered as if he were conversing with a fungus."
Clive Cussler in The Sea Hunters (a true story, in which the commander is answering Cussler)
A putt "scurrying across the green like a rat on fire."
An announcer on TBS August 15 1992
"At the sight of Aslan the cheeks of the Telmarine soldiers became the colour of cold gravy..." C.S. Lewis Prince Caspian
"A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative." One of "Gilbert!’s Top Dozen Very Bad Puns" in Gilbert! magazine Vol. 5 #8 (July/August 2002)
In my latest National Post column I praise Prince Philip for his character, modesty and acid wit, three things the modern world needs badly.
"We have a very weak supply of words of praise as compared with our rich and varied output of terms of abuse." G.K. Chesterton, "Both sides of the Looking Glass" in The Spice of Life, quoted in Gilbert Magazine Vol. 8 #1 (September 2004)
In my latest National Post column I say if the Senate can write silly patronizing children's books for adults, I can too. Please send me money.
"as messed up as a soup sandwich." Al LaPointe in a letter to the Wall Street Journal OpinionJournal July 14, 2004