“The [tsetse] fly’s devastating effects are similar to those of other known sleeping-sickness carriers, such as the tsetse professor, tsetse boss, and tsetse New York Times op-ed page writer.”

P.J. O’Rourke Eat the Rich

“The really happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.”

Emailed by a friend and attributed to “Unknown” who is also widely credited online with having said it and so probably did.

“Penny candy rotted your teeth just as fast when it didn’t cost a quarter.”

Bob Uecker and Mickey Herskowitz. Catcher in the Wry.

“I have no Will at all – and no Won’t – simply Can’t.”

Harold Skimpole in Charles Dickens Bleak House

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.”

Henry Ford, widely quoted online including for instance at https://www.quotespedia.org/authors/h/henry-ford/failure-is-simply-the-opportunity-to-begin-again-this-time-more-intelligently-henry-ford/

“the only serious reason which I can imagine inducing any one person to listen to any other is, that the first person looks to the second person with an ardent faith and a fixed attention, expecting him to say what he does not expect him to say…. clearly it is quite true that whenever we go to hear a prophet or teacher we may or may not expect wit, we may or may not expect eloquence, but we do expect what we do not expect. We may not expect the true, we may not even expect the wise, but we do expect the unexpected. If we do not expect the unexpected, why do we go there at all? If we expect the expected, why do we not sit at home and expect it by ourselves?”

G.K. Chesterton Heretics

In my latest Epoch Times column I wax nostalgic about the days when people pretended they’d read books I didn’t want to, instead of admitting they don’t read.

“If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable.”

Seneca Epistulae Morales #71 section 3 quoted (among many other places) by https://libquotes.com/seneca/quote/lbt5f6w