"As long as people think you're dumber than you are, you'll make money." Marcellus Mature to his son Victor when the latter set off for Hollywood to become a movie star, arriving with 11 cents in his pocket (according to www.victormature.net/victormatureradio/aboutme.htm as of June 6 2013, which also credited Marcellus with saying "Life owes you nothing no more than a man deserves a woman merely because he happens to love her" so you get two for the price of one today)
"Was Kierkegaard right when he said that all despair about earthly things is actually – and without us necessarily being aware of this – despair about the Eternal?" Leszek Kolakowski in First Things June-July 2003
"A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative." One of "Gilbert!’s Top Dozen Very Bad Puns" in Gilbert! magazine Vol. 5 #8 (July/August 2002)
"If you cannot mould yourself as you would wish, how can you expect other people to be entirely to your liking?" Thomas à Kempis, quoted as "Thought du jour" in Globe and Mail October 21, 2002
In my latest column for the National Post, I say FBI director James Comey had to be fired for his series of bizarre missteps and flipflops on Hillary Clinton's email.